Wednesday, June 28, 2017

A Dream Come True

  Sometimes after a day of work it's the little things that can make or break my evening. On the ride home there are two different spots where slower traffic is to move right and the flow of traffic continues in the left lane. The right will eventually have to merge into the left lane. Cops like sitting in these spots because they know stupid shit will happen here.
 In both these spots the speed limit is under 55 and then turns to double nickels after the merge. The problem comes when Lick Knobs use the right lane to pass and gain position on the herd. At the merge people get screwed up, blocked and start hitting the brakes. This sucks for everyone except the asshole that passed on the right. I can imagine the bravado they feel from such moves but I'm not impressed.  Is it wrong to wish ill fate on your fellow man for doing something as minor as a traffic violation?
 I've been pulled over in one of these spots for excessive speed. Nothing like passing on the right, just me rolling along too fast. Now every time I get passed in one of these zones I get pissy and wonder where Johnny Law is hiding. Probably stopping a bank robbery or pulling a kid out of a burning building. That's crap! I need him here to stop this caddy with out of state plates and let him know it's not ok to bring your big city attitude to our small community. I'm sure there must be an old Beach Boys song that covers the way I feel about this. If not, well this is me patiently waiting for justice:

 Well the other day there was a chance for my dream to finally come true. Joe F-stick with out of state plates pulled the "pass on the right" bullshit and guess who was waiting for him? That's right, the long arm of the law. Our speeder got on the brakes but it was way too late. He did have one advantage though, traffic was unusually heavy. The cop was sitting on the opposite shoulder and had to wait a long time before he could safely whip a shitty (execute a u-turn) and pursue. I was miles down the road and was giving up hope of my dream coming true when in the distance I finally saw his lights approaching.

 Some people say old people shouldn't drive. I don't agree and believe if everyone else just drove sanely then we could accommodate a few drivers with diminishing skills. I knew the driver of the vehicle behind me was an elderly woman because I saw her when I passed her on the right way back before the merge in the two lane traffic. I know, I know but this was different. A whole line of us went around her slow ass and nobody was in jeopardy of injury and nobody was speeding or breaking the law. She was just moving slow in the left lane and the thought of her trying to merge into traffic was scary.
 As the cop got closer I determined it was time to signal and pull onto the shoulder to let him pass. I was hoping the little old lady behind me would follow my lead but must have never noticed the lights or siren behind her because she was actually shaking her fist at me as she was passing me. I got to see that moment in her eyes as she noticed the cop behind her and that I was doing the right thing and she was just in the way. That was quite satisfying. It was also quite satisfying seeing the cop had the guy in the caddy pulled over up the road in the next county. I wanted to beep the horn or throw some confetti or maybe whale on one of those party horns that roll out as you blow into them.

 Nobody got hurt and it felt pretty good to see someone finally not get away with bullshit driving. A nice way to distract from the daily ride home.


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