Dropped The Ultra

 It seems nothing will get me into a pissier mood than dropping a bike. All the pecan pie and cold beer in the world won't help my attitude right now but I'm giving it a shot anyway.

 Of course I had to buy a bike that weighs as much as a medium sized elephant. When that pachyderm decides its time to lay down there ain't much I'm gonna do to stop it. Even when I was a young buck I don't think I'd have been able to keep that behemoth from tipping over. Here's where the bike was sitting:

 Well, actually it was closer to the Subaru. I was trying to roll the beast closer to the wall so I could move some crap out of that small room in the background. That stain on the floor isn't from tears, its an oil slick from my lawn mower. I really should fix that mower.
 I hate the kick stand on these Harleys. It has slop in it and will rock ahead but it always stops short of tipping forward. I get nervous every time it happens but the longer I've owned the bike, the more used to it I've become. Well guess what? I've become careless with that damn stand and this time it bit me in the ass. The bike rocked forward and tipped over. It happened fast and I couldn't stop it. The fairing rubbed along the bumper of the Subaru and settled to a stop as the handlebars came to full lock. The saddlebag guard was on the ground and I was standing on that oil slick stuck between the bike and car.
 They say that in these situations you get an adrenaline rush and have somewhat super human strength. I don't know who "they" are but I wish a few of them were here to help me lift the damn bike because my back was having none of it. I always figured that if I dropped this pig, er, elephant, that I wouldn't be able to right it. I turned around, grabbed a bar end and the seat backrest and tried to lift. Only because I was able to push against the Subaru with my legs was I able to accomplish the task. If I were alone in the wild you'd find me laying in a puddle of tears with a broke back.
 So now that the mammoth is upright and stable I nervously scan for damage. Right away I notice a long scuff in the fairing. I figure the scuff will buff out but then as I scan the surface of the paint with my trusty flashlight I notice a series of fractures in the plastic.

 Dem ain't gonna buff out. The weight of this mastodon was concentrated on that edge of the plastic fairing and it fractured. There's also a "chrome against concrete" scuff in the saddlebag protector. The fact that I had the air shocks set pretty low helped keep the bike from tipping farther to the side. I was too disgusted to look for more damage and headed into the house for the aforementioned beer and pie.
 I know it seems petty to get upset about a few blemishes on a bike. The thing is that this has happened on every damn bike I've owned and I was kinda proud of myself for not having tipped this one over yet. Now I find myself among the ranks of any other putz that has performed this act of stupidity. I need to find a silver lining and may have found a couple. If I go back and find more scratches then just maybe I can justify some sort of custom paint job. That would be cool. The other thing is that after a first scratch on a bike I've always kinda loosened up a bit with my riding attitude. You know like a little less "stick up the butt" proper riding and more "to hell with it, lets lay this biotch over and see what it'll do".
 Now I'm really looking forward to next spring.

Later.