I was just stumbling through life minding my own business when a dude approaches me.
Dude: Hi Matt, Howz it going?
Me: Great Jim, How are you?
Dude: Um, I'm not Jim.
Me (pointing at my name tag on my work shirt) Ya, well I'm not Matt.
Dude: Aren't you the guy that sprays lawns?
Me: Its true I have sprayed many a lawn but these days I just manage a crew.
Dude: Well you work for Dick, right?
Me: No I don't work for dick. Did you call my boss a dick?
Dude: No, I asked if you spray lawns for Dick.
Me: (pointing at the business name over my other shirt pocket) No but I have some customers named Dick so technically I work for some Dicks but my boss isn't a Dick.
Dude: You're not Matt? I thought you were Matt.
Me: I'm not Matt but I have a guy on my crew named Matt.
Dude: Did he used to work for Dick?
Me: I doubt it. Hes a married man.
Dude: I don't think I know you.
Me: Have a good night Jim.
I told him I wasn't Matt but that wasn't good enough for him. Did he think I stole a shirt from some guy named Scott? Maybe he thought I was in the witness protection program and my new name was Scott. Did he think I was avoiding him because I owed him money? Was he just stoned to the bone? I dunno.
On the other hand, I wonder how he recalls the encounter. "I saw Matt today. He was pretending to be someone named Scott. What a dick".
Later.
Yeah I get that a lot since my beard turned gray, guess I'm the generic old Alaskan guy. One time in Tok, a village near the Canada border where I worked one summer, a woman came up to me in the only restaurant in town and demanded to know why I didn't say hello. Maybe cause I don't know you, I said. She repeated several times that she knew me until I finally asked what's the guy's name and when I said that wasn't me, she walked away shaking heard as if she couldn't believe I'd lied to her. The guys with me got a good laugh out of it, but it left me kind of dazed and confused, maybe I'd forgotten my real name? Who knows what strange things go on up here.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people get an idea in their head and nothing else matters.
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