Sunday, June 2, 2019

Strange Encounter

 I was just stumbling through life minding my own business when a dude approaches me.

Dude: Hi Matt, Howz it going?
Me: Great Jim, How are you?
Dude: Um, I'm not Jim.
Me (pointing at my name tag on my work shirt) Ya, well I'm not Matt.
Dude: Aren't you the guy that sprays lawns?
Me: Its true I have sprayed many a lawn but these days I just manage a crew.
Dude: Well you work for Dick, right?
Me: No I don't work for dick. Did you call my boss a dick?
Dude: No, I asked if you spray lawns for Dick.
Me: (pointing at the business name over my other shirt pocket) No but I have some customers named          Dick so technically I work for some Dicks but my boss isn't a Dick.
Dude: You're not Matt? I thought you were Matt.
Me: I'm not Matt but I have a guy on my crew named Matt.
Dude: Did he used to work for Dick?
Me: I doubt it. Hes a married man.
Dude: I don't think I know you.
Me: Have a good night Jim.

 I told him I wasn't Matt but that wasn't good enough for him. Did he think I stole a shirt from some guy named Scott? Maybe he thought I was in the witness protection program and my new name was Scott. Did he think I was avoiding him because I owed him money? Was he just stoned to the bone? I dunno.
 On the other hand, I wonder how he recalls the encounter. "I saw Matt today. He was pretending to be someone named Scott. What a dick".

Later.

2 comments:

  1. Yeah I get that a lot since my beard turned gray, guess I'm the generic old Alaskan guy. One time in Tok, a village near the Canada border where I worked one summer, a woman came up to me in the only restaurant in town and demanded to know why I didn't say hello. Maybe cause I don't know you, I said. She repeated several times that she knew me until I finally asked what's the guy's name and when I said that wasn't me, she walked away shaking heard as if she couldn't believe I'd lied to her. The guys with me got a good laugh out of it, but it left me kind of dazed and confused, maybe I'd forgotten my real name? Who knows what strange things go on up here.

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  2. Sometimes people get an idea in their head and nothing else matters.

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