BMW Maintenance

 My wifes Beemer has been experiencing a misfire and fixing it finally came up on the Honey-Do list. The plan was to drive her car into work and hook it up to a big dollar fancy schmancy code scanner we have there. Well don't cha know, it would read all the codes on that car except the engine codes, and let me tell you that car has the ability to code anything. I think I saw one in there for dog crap in the tire treads. Anyway, maybe its the software or maybe I did something wrong but what matters is that I wasn't able to pinpoint which cylinder had the misfire. Sunday morning I went on Amazon and ordered six ignition coils for only $130 which I thought was a good deal especially considering that when I got them they were the same as the factory originals. I also ordered some platinum spark plugs. Did I need six coils? No. Was replacing all six a sure way to get rid of the bad one? Yes. I understand these things eat coils so lets call it preventative medicine.
 Monday while at work my wife texts me that the parts are in. I mean I want to support the local brick and mortar stores but how can you beat that? One day, parts at my door step, no driving or calling, only a 5 minute investment of my time. Today I'll stop at the local parts store and buy a caliper for the big ass station wagon so some of my vast fortune is spent locally.
 When I got home my wife asks how the car is running. I thought it was fine but to be fair the problem was only under light load and my ride home was mostly heavy load. Zip Zip! I don't like to be passed.

 The biggest part of the job is removing all the plastic pieces that pretty up the engine compartment. I don't like them, They hide all the mechanical bits and make working on these things a drag. Maybe BMW thinks all this prettiness sells cars. I dunno. If you cant appreciate the looks of the engine on its own then leave the hood down. I mean there isn't even a freakin dip stick under there so why does suit and tie guy need to even look at it. Some day only a dealer will be able to open the hood.

 Replacing six coils and spark plugs wasn't that big of a job. I did find five BMW/NGK spark plugs and one odd brand plug. That odd plug looked shady and I suspect the coil over that plug was my only problem. I'll keep the rest for spares. I got everything swapped out, put back all the prettiness and slammed the hood with confidence. My wife was sitting in the car and as I walked past her I asked her to start it up and get the a/c rolling while I washed my hands. She pushed to start button and it just cranked. No start. My wife knows me pretty well and when the F-bombs started flying, she backed off and just let me work it out.
 The First thing I had to do was pull all that frickin plastic prettiness off of the engine again. It went faster this time because I now had some practice at doing this but still it was getting less and less pretty. I couldn't find any electrical connections knocked off and was really starting to worry what the hell I could have screwed up. Eventually I started removing wiring harnesses from the new coils.

 When you push the wire connector into that plug on the coil, the top lever flips down and cam locks the harness in place. Turns out if you don't initially push that connector in far enough it will still draw the connector in, just not far enough. It feels seated and there is no slop but its not actually connected. Why they designed them to be able to be connected wrong is a mystery to me. I mean we put men on the moon decades ago, mold a piece of plastic so morons like me can get it right the first time. I corrected my mistake on all six cylinders.
 This time I asked my wife to start the car before the pretty plastic went in place. Half a revolution later she fired and was purring like a kitten. Now I decorated it with all the plastic bits and this time slammed the hood with relief.
 My reward was being chauffeured to the ice cream shop for a sunday. Works for me!

Later.

Spring is Certainly Here Now

 The calendar said spring but the snow on the ground said winter, but no more. In two weeks we warmed right up and just the other night I rode home from work in 79 degree temps. Some rain may be on the way but these temps are sure easy to take.
 The sporty sits in the garage now. I rolled it out of its winter hibernating spot which was my enclosed trailer. The Flex-Seal I sprayed on the roof seams seems to have done its job. (you like what I did there? Sometimes I write these the night before after tipping back a few cool ones.) No signs of leaks this spring.

 You already know the bike is getting paint so I won't dwell on that. Other changes may or may not include a new headlight, different front turn signals and possibly ape hangers. I've been on a few bikes with apes and I guess they're all right for short runs. I think I'd like to give em a try. Besides, the bike will look much better with that style bar on it.
 In other news, the BMW had a weird sound/vibe coming from the front end. After the whole ordeal with needing a new front differential, you can imagine how excited we get anytime there's a new noise. The car has budget tires on it that the dealer hung on there and I wondered if one of them was the culprit. I decided to swap the front tire to the rear and see if the sound moved. I own one floor jack so the plan was to jack and then block the rear, then move the jack to the front. To my surprise the front tire came off the ground while jacking from the rear factory lift position. This made the job a lot easier.

  After the swap a test ride proved the theory of a bad tire as opposed to a wheel bearing, cv shaft, etc., although the front end may indeed need to be aligned. I'll throw that tire on the balancer at work and see if its out of whack.
 And finally, an update on the Subaru. After the timing belt disaster that bent all 16 valves while blasting down I94, the car has been running fine. I've been using it daily although that will taper off now that biking weather has arrived.

Later.

Popcorn and Urinal Cakes

 Spring is supposed to be here but the cold hearted bitch is having an identity crisis and thinks shes old man winter. This is really putting a cramp in my urge to get out and ride. I was waiting for some rain to wash the salt residue from the roads but pretty soon I'll just have to bite the bullet and put some layers on and go for it. Failure to do so soon feels like it could end up in a seizure, spaz attack or at the very least a hissy fit.
 Thursday evening we had an employee appreciation party for work. There was food and drink and I think everyone had a pretty good time. During dinner my wife and I sat with another couple and engaged in some nice conversation. For them it was a night out and a chance to have adult conversation away from their two young children. For us, watching James eat was a bit like going to the Ripleys believe-it-or-not museum. Of course I'm joking. Many of us ate as much but we did it in multiple trips. James had a mound of food on his plate that looked like a science fair project.
 Friday my wife and I went to a nice Italian restaurant just because we felt like it. Once inside I discovered I didn't have the key fob for the car. My wife thought I was joking because we've had these talks about what would happen if we locked the only key we have in the car. An earlier call to the BMW dealer suggested that a second key/fob would cost north of five hundred bucks so we are treating this one we have very carefully. At least I thought I was being careful. I traced my steps from our table, out the door and down the sidewalk. Then I noticed something dark resting in the street against the curb. Sure as shit it was our key fob. I don't know how I did it but somehow I dropped it after getting out of the car and hitting the lock button. That could have gone very wrong and I feel lucky to have found it before someone else stumbled across it, or worse, drove over and destroyed it.
 Saturday started out with a bright orange sunrise.

  It was pretty busy at work because we are trying to set up for a sale that runs all next week and because we have a tent set up in front of the building people think the sale is going on now. We sold a lot of stuff but still didn't have everything set up for the sale so that means Monday morning is gonna be hectic. Oh well, better than not being busy at all.
 On the way home I picked up some paint and sanding supplies for the sportster tank project.

 I should have sanded more of those layers off because my primer actually reacted with one of those colors and started bubbling it. Thats really weird because I never had that problem last time I painted it and I think I'm using the same paint.
 After I got to the quitting point for the day with the painting we decided to do some shopping and get dinner. I needed furnace filters for the paint booth and supplies for the end table near my recliner.

  It was also a good chance to swing into the car wash and get some of those layers of salt off the beemer. We got the deluxe wash with the smurf jizz again and my wife finally decided what it smells like. Cherry scented urinal cakes. I can't argue with that but it does beg the question...how much time do you spend in the mens room, Dear?

Later.

General Bullcrap

 Its Saturday night, I've had a few beers and now I'm writing this blog so its a crap shoot on what you're gonna get. What should we talk about? Well its come to my attention that many of you are reading this blog while sitting on the toilet. First, that's a visual I didn't need and second I suppose its fitting that you're reading crap while taking one. This also means you're reading on your phone and I'm pretty sure the mobile version doesn't allow you to see the list of blogs I follow. If this is really the case then get on a computer and follow some of the links. A lot of these bloggers use actual cameras and they know how to take great pics. They also are good writers and have some interesting things to say. Check em out.
 What else do you want to talk about? Did I work on the tool hutch? Yes, but I'm tired of talking about it. I'll show you a pic when its done and in place.
 Hey, I got a piece of "jewelry" from Terry!

 Ya its a trekkie insignia. Science officer Scott reporting for duty. Remove that cap indoors and get a shave! Whatever. BTW, while I am a Star Trek fan, as far as you know this is the only time I'll wear it.

 In work related news, my bench is a mess. If you say that's not news I'd have to agree. I'm gonna try to clean up my act a little bit. It just makes it easier to not overlook a screw if the only ones laying on the bench came out of the current project.

 In other work related news we have finished the "tunnel" F550 project. The truck now has a new aluminum flatbed sitting on the tunnel. The hitch is ready to accept a back blade and next winter the bed comes off and the truck will get a salter.

 In still other work related news, It seems James has become the second operator to bend a back blade wing. (I'm not the other one) When the first one bent I thought there was a one in a million chance of hitting the tip of the blade just right to get it to bend rather than bounce off or break the shear bolt. Now I'm thinking the odds are closer to one in ten. At least nobody will ever hit that post again as James has decided to bring it back to the shop as a trophy. I'm good with that.

 Speaking of trucks, this is my old dodge.

 My wife used to call it barbaric. She drove it to get lunch the other day and has now down graded it to "a hunk of junk". Its gettin kinda crude and we plan to replace it some time next year so I've been giving that a lot of thought. What do I want vs. what do I really need? Well, I need to be able to occasionally tow my 6 x 10 enclosed trailer with one or two bikes in it. I need to get to work sometimes after the county has pulled the plow trucks from the roads. I need to be able to haul some stuff once in a while. I want something with decent power and rust free. Not sure exactly where the budget is gonna be on this one but I got a feeling I'm gonna be right on the edge of rust free unless I buy something with really high mileage. I don't need a diesel or a quad cab long box or a one ton dually or any other small penis compensator. I see a lot of Chevy Silverados out there that seem to be good deals but I'm really more interested in a Suburban or Yukon. I like that they are basically half tons with permanent toppers. If I decide to go smaller then maybe a Jeep Grand Cherokee or even a BMW X5 would make me happy. I've always wanted to own a Cadillac so I'm not ruling out the Escalade or EXT. I guess it just depends on whats out there once I'm ready to buy. Until then I'll just keep borrowing my wifes car on the weeks she is working from home and car pooling with her the rest of the time.

Later.

Good Customer Service

 Unless you're new here, you know that we bought my wife a 2011 BMW 328i xdrive back in November. I told you the story about returning it to the dealer for a mirror replacement and headlight adjustment. I also told you about the front differential not having much if any oil in it and the noise coming from it. It's easy to bitch when things don't go as expected. This isn't that kind of story.
 Last Monday their service department looked at the car and put some dye in the differential and asked me to drive it about four hundred miles. I did so and returned last Friday so they could re-inspect the car. There is some question on my part as to how much of a differential leak they found but they stated there was definitely an engine oil leak. The tech had stuck a magnet in the diff and came up with a lot of metal. This wasn't a news flash to me as I already have enough experience with axle problems to know that much noise equaled metal shavings. Anyway, they didn't want me to drive the car and gave me a loaner. Not a car I'd choose myself but I can't complain about a 2018 escape with a thousand miles as a loaner.
 On Monday I heard from them that basically they were trying to decide what to do. My warranty that came with the car was up but this was kinda a grey area. They would call me back with more details. I wasn't nervous but the guys in our shop sure did tease me and came up with a number of scenarios, all of which I came out on the short end. On Thursday I decided to call and was told they were replacing the differential and fixing the engine oil leak but the gal didn't know when it would be done. On Friday they called and said I could pick it up which I did yesterday morning.
 The forty five mile ride home was gonna be the determining factor on how I felt about this whole ordeal. To my relief the only noise I heard on the ride home was the sound of the tires on the pavement. Having a good differential make a big diff!
 In some past posts I may have nitpicked at a few things concerning Holiday Automotive and Holiday Budget Center but in the end they have done everything they promised and then some, all the time with a smile. They did this for us and the only input from me was a four minute phone conversation and bringing them the car. They earned the Greasy Shop Rag stamp of approval because they went above and beyond my expectations and I will go back to them when I look to replace my old Dodge pickem up next fall. You should do the same.

Later.

The Waiting Room

 On Monday I took the car into the dealer so they could take a looksee at an oil leak. I checked the car in with the service department and was asked to go to the waiting room. I took it slow, knowing the my only purpose for the next hour or so was just to kill time.
 I flung the door open and was hit with the smell of chocolate chip cookies and a pathetic look on the faces of half a dozen customers. Most people would think its very thoughtful of them to supply warm treats for their customers. I'm trying to limit my treat intake so it was like torture for me. I suffered through it but I gotta confess they smelled good and the thought of a cookie for breakfast did cross my mind.
 The "room" isn't a room. Its a remote corner of a showroom kinda separated by a hallway. The receptionist walked in and out with her headphones on directing calls to the service desk and parts department. Salesmen wandered over to get a cup of coffee. The occasional tech would stop in for a snack or drink. Every time that door would open the customers waiting would pop their head up like puppies in the pound. Pick me, I've been here so long, please pick me. In one corner was a 30 somethin male with a door knob problem on his car. He wasn't like the others. They asked him to come into the service area to describe the problem but he just tried explaining it to the escort that came to get him. I don't know what his fascination was with the waiting room. This was his chance to get out if not just for a few minutes. He was in a one sided conversation with the kindle reader lady that had exhaust fumes coming into her car. I think she may have sniffed too many of them fumes because she never really noticed that nobody else was in her conversation.

The pic has nothing to do with this post. I added it for those
 of you that won't read anything without a pic. You know who you are.
Some dude at work walked in wearing it and agreed to let me snap a pic.

 In the corner opposite door knob dude was a fidgety lady. Up and down, pacing and then back in her chair. All that fuss and all she had was a small nail in her tire. To me, the little tack they brought out to show her didn't seem big enough to penetrate a car tire but I don't know what size car she had. They were plugging it now and would bring the car around in a minute. As soon as she spotted her car she was out of there in a flash. I wasn't interested enough to stand up and see what the car was.
 "Don" opened the door and we all turned to look at him. He announced he was the shuttle service and the old dude sipping coffee at the high top table put his jacket on and followed him out. We all whimpered a little and went back into waiting mode.
 At the far end were two other gentlemen. One was busy with his coffee, cookie and newspaper, the other was loud phone conversation dude. He was buying stock online and was having problems navigating a web page. We were all so very impressed (not). Later,  I overheard him whining to the other guy about the lack of snow this year. He had to trailer his sled up north for the last three years to do any trail riding. The secretary chimed in and praised the lack of snow because that meant no shoveling her driveway. Funny how people look at the same snow so differently based on what they plan to do with it once it hits the ground. I want snow because it means work, and I like plowing.
 The door swung open again and the gal asked for Scott. I wanted to run to the door like the next contestant on "the price is right" but instead stood up slowly and looked around the room. That's right, I'm the chosen one. The others all put their heads down and whimpered a little.
 In the service department I was informed they put some dye in the front differential oil and wanted me to drive a few hundred miles. I would then bring the car back and they will use a black light to look for leaks. I asked what the point of this was as the differential is noisy and required more than fixing a leaked. I was asked to just let them go through the process, and that's what I'll do. Unfortunately that means another visit to the dog pound.

Later.

Front Wheel Bearing

  The wifes BMW had a noise coming from the front end and I suspected it may be a front wheel bearing. Last week I decided it was time to address this issue so I stopped at the parts store and picked up the highest quality bearing they had. Nothing but the best for honeys car. Being a 2011 car most of the bolts came apart quite easily, but when it came time to push the CV axle back out of the hub I ran into some stubbornness. I didn't have the puller I needed and kinda cobbled one together. It was a weak effort at making a puller and after moving the hub about 1/16" out of the bearing, the puller started to bend. This whole time there was some serious noise coming from the other side of the shop. A team of four were trying to remove the fifth wheel plate from a semi tractor and they were having more problems than I was. Pounding, grinding, torching, pounding, cussing, pounding, air hammers...the whole works. I was getting a headache from their noise and my frustration with the wheel bearing and decided to give up for the night. The problem was I needed to put all this crap back together to drive the car home. When I torqued the axle nut back down it wouldn't pull the bearing halves back together. There was now a considerable amount of play in that front wheel. Not dangerous play, but enough that I'd see tire wear if I kept driving it like that. Two days later on Friday I decided to revisit that stubborn bearing.

 The initial disassembly went fast. After all, I already knew which tools to grab and the sequence for disassembly. This time around I had Greg helping me and he came up with some improvements to my home made puller. Crank the puller tight, pound. Crank the puller tight, pound. It came out slow and half the bearing inner race was still on the hub but that would easily be removed with a grinder and a swift blow of a chisel. The remaining bearing would get pushed out in the press, then the new bearing pressed back in. There was a little dinking around but everything went together pretty good.
 Here's the real story. That wheel bearing was never bad. I (and a respected mechanic) heard the noise coming from the left front of the car. Turns out the differential is bolted to the left side of the engine so when its oil level dropped below the differentials output bearing and started making noise, I was fooled into thinking it could be a wheel bearing. Now it clearly also has gear whine that changes as you switch from power to coasting. That noisy session in the shop the first time around eventually revealed the truth. I was turning the wheel hub and could hear that it was noisy but couldn't pin point it. By the time the other half of the shop quieted down enough for me to find the real source of the noise, I had already pulled that hub a bit and started separating the bearing. I would have never done that if I had known there was almost no oil in the front differential. That'll make a noise every time. Kinda odd for a car that was just serviced at the dealership. Yes, I suppose I should have gone through the car better myself.
 I've been in contact with the dealer and although the short term warranty that came with the car is expired, they are willing to take a look at it. I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow. I'm not sure how this is gonna end but I'll keep you posted.

Later.