Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Workshop Wednesday-The Strainer

  This new year resolution of not being a dickhead is working out pretty good. I'm a happy person and fun to be around! Well that's the way I see it anyway. I'm reminded by coworkers of every action I make that can be interpreted as slightly dickheadish. Bah, humbug. I don't need any negativity and this year everything goes through a strainer. No lumps in the gravy for me. Anything caught in the strainer gets tossed out and all that is left is lump free gravy for me.
 What does this mean? Basically I'm not putting up with stupid customer bullshit. If you don't have a clue on a certain topic and need educating, I'll help you with that. If you're a big mouth who thinks he's always right, yet I know you're wrong, I'm not pussy footin around your feelings. If you flat out lie I have no problem setting you straight and enjoying some lump free gravy.

 Customer A brings in a handheld blower that won't start. Right away I notice it has no compression. I pull the spark plug to find the cylinder scored all the way around. The fuel looks suspicious and when questioned, he states he mixed it correctly 2.6 ounces per gallon.....last year. This customer got an education. He was bummed about his equipment but passed through the strainer just fine.
 Customer B walks into the store complaining that I haven't sprayed the weeds in his lawn yet. He spouts a bunch of lies about who and when. I asked him when was the last day we didn't have rain or high winds and he just turned and said he was gonna find someone else. He was bluffing and was caught in my strainer. When he realized I was gonna let him walk he came back and asked to be kept on the list. In my opinion I was not being a dickhead. This is just weeding out the unwanted bullshit.
I haven't wiped the strainer clear of this one yet. He may pass through and turn out to be a good customer. Some of my best accounts are people I've butted heads with in the beginning. Sometimes you just need to establish boundaries so everyone knows where they stand. Some things take longer to pass through the strainer than others.
 Customer C buys a yard of mulch. After his trailer is loaded he claims he should get more material. It's easy to measure the trailer, do the math and show him he is getting exactly what he has paid for. Lets not even get into the fact that the loader bucket is one yard struck. This customer claims he got more material the last time he was here. I gave him a choice. I asked if he would like to pay for the extra he got last time or enjoy the fact that he got away with a little extra last time. He chose the latter. Does that make me a dickhead? He passed through as lump free gravy but I would have been just as happy to throw him out with the other lumps.
 Customer D calls on the phone a few weeks ago and asks what spark plug he needs for his hedge trimmer. That's exactly what he asked. I know he's standing at the counter of the auto parts store looking to buy from them but wants free info from us. Whatever. I say I need more info and he says it's a hedge trimmer. I'm thinking no shit and ask what brand and model? He stumbles a bit and finally decides it is a Stihl hedge trimmer. I know there's no way this rocket scientist will know the model but ask anyway. He insists they're all the same and I think to myself "If you're so fricken smart, why did you call?" I tell him I'm looking at the chart for all Stihl hedge trimmers and there are five different spark plug choices. He says. "Is Al there? He's the smartest one at that shop" I say, "Thanks for calling". Click. I don't know who this guy was and didn't let it bother me but I did tell the story to Al just in case he didn't know he was the smartest one of us.

 Yesterday a guy comes in the shop and is talking to Al and says he wasn't sure if he should come here because I was so rude to his freeloader ass on the phone. Once Al made the connection of my story with this guy all he could do was laugh. In fact he did a lot of laughing after the guy left. Ya maybe I was a bit of a dickhead for hanging up on him but how much of a dickhead is a guy that calls a business and wastes a techs time to get free info so he can spend his money with some other business.
 Just another lump caught in the strainer.

Rant over. Later.


  1. Great post and definitely the right way to deal with some people.

  2. Thanks. Ya, I know it takes all kinds to make the world go round but sometimes it just feels like a certain group of them always end up in my little corner.

  3. had to read again after work. rant justified